The Mists of Avalon by candlelight
did have a certain glamour.
At one point my girl
Mommy! Are you actually–
having FUN cooking???
And there for just a brief moment,
as she peeled potatoes and told me her thoughts
and the rain came down
and we put lemons inside our happy chicken,
I might have been.
But don’t tell anyone.
was a day.
And now it is over.
And that is all I’m going to say
There it is, sweetness and care;
little girl arranging a tea tray
and setting it down
among the folded stacks.
I’ll take this over tidiness
My friend and I lay on a blanket
on the grass
backs pressed into the ground– actually horizontal!–
like we weren’t mothers like
we were still women who could tangle with gravity and win
like we didn’t have groceries and kids and responsibilities,
like we had nothing to do at all besides be
supine for a glorious stolen hour
while the kids rumbled
and we talked about all the things and the whole time
we were looking up at
I love this time of year;
everything is so vivid,
The rains come down.
All I want to wear is gray cashmere.
But the crimson persists;
my girl insists.
So for some reason I drive an hour
and a half
to go wander around an apple orchard
for two hours
and then drive and hour and a half back home.
It was a little nuts.
But somehow perfect.
Let’s talk about how brave it is
to say the thing
you never wanted to have to say.
So. Fucking. Brave.