December 12, 2011

There’s a great rumor on Facebook
that I had a baby this year.
People I actually know in real life
keep writing me, asking me
about my secret baby.
(Apparently they aren’t buying that
ridiculous cover story about a nephew.)
So just to set the record straight:
I didn’t have a baby this year.
Here’s the true story:
I had quintuplets.
Half-cat, half-marmoset.
Elvis is the father.
I gave birth in a buttermilk blossom.
We all live with Santa now
and I’m starting a holiday decoration
service in addition to life coaching.
Now you know it all.

PS. Just in case you’re new here…that is not my house. I can’t take credit for any of that megasparkle.

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